Through the lens of Hameed……….

Through the lens of Hameed……….

Today, I am turning 65. Sitting in this tiny room at Manjeri, Kerala, I often rewind myself thinking about what I have achieved throughout my life working in that desert for 35 long years. Now, I am physically, mentally and monetarily broke with not a single penny in my pocket, and no one to look after me in spite of having everyone at home.

I was born to a very poor family and I had to quit my education after completing 6^th grade. After quitting school, I did all kinds of work to support my parents. During early 80’s, the craze for people to go to gulf was at its peak and my parents also wanted me to go to gulf for better opportunities. With the help of our neighbor, I reached Abudhabi and lived with some of his friends in a small room and with the help of our kind hearted friends, food also was made available for me. I started searching for a job and my search ended at the fish market where my job was to cut fishes for customers who bought fish from different vendors, within the market. I was just getting enough cash to look after myself in Abudabhi. Though the job was not very attractive, my dream was to start a fish shop of my own in that market. Slowly, I started sending money to my parents also.

Now that I have a job, my parents wanted me to get married. The lookout for a suitable girl began and it was Saira who came into my life. The marriage was arranged in a hurry and it took place within a span of one month. I could be with my wife hardly for ten days as I could not remain away from my work place for long. Days and months passed, I was busy cutting fish and my dream of owning a shop remained a dream for ever for want of money. I kept sending money to my wife every month and my wife also was happy at home. With great difficulty, I could visit my native village once a year and everyone at home looked forward to my visit as I was coming from gulf. Each of my visits to Kerala would put me into debt and it would take a long period to cover up that debt. However, years passed and I was blessed with two sons. In the beginning, my wife used to send letters periodically and I was under the impression that because of me at least my family was happy in Kerala. I kept sending money every month without fail and the frequency of letters coming from Kerala kept decreasing.

I lost both my parents within a span of one year and each time I came to Kerala, the debt would put me into lot of inconvenience. Years passed, both my sons completed college studies and my elder son got a job in Abudhabi. He was in Abudhabi for one year before being transferred to Qatar. He never bothered to visit me once though he stayed within 20 minutes walk from the fish market. May be he felt his dad was doing a menial job and he didn’t want to reveal my identity to his friends.  

On the other side, Saira had developed an affair with someone in that vicinity called Muneer. I had doubts about this affair during my previous visits to Kerala. Later on it became an open secret and they didn’t have shame talking about it openly. Saira was only interested in my money. If I delay sending cash, there were calls from my wife and younger son. And if I send the money on time, there were no calls. My frequency of visits to Kerala decreased, and I felt like ending my life in that fish market rather than coming to Kerala. At least, I had friends who could understand my pain in that market and talking to them would give lot of relief.

I repent my decision to come back to Kerala. I would not have come back if my friends had not forced me. They were of the opinion that things would improve if I come back to Kerala. But, today I am all alone.

Friends, this is not only my story. There are many Hameed’s in Gulf, who are unable to come back to Kerala for similar reasons. Their relatives here only want their money. No matter how they survive in that desert…….

Sreekumar Menon